Only Will

I gave up, friend
It’s a long story
But I gave up
The worst part of it is
Losing the spring in my step
Losing the fun in my heart.
Sparking joy out of nothingness,
I don’t have that anymore

I wish it were a spell
It’s a long story
The story is irrelevant

Now all I have left is will
I can will myself to live
To run with the rats!

I can will myself to forget
The story, reason
More at ease with the inevitable
Everyday complicity

But will alone leaves one hollow
Like an empty husk
I know what it is I lost
I cannot will it
Will is all I have

Originally written in early 2014